Friends. When you let someone into your life and get close to you, you make yourself very vulnerable in their hands. They suddenly have the ability to greatly influence your emotions and mood. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it just shows that they are worth a lot to you. By giving you their attention, being thoughtful and mindful of you, or even simply complimenting you, they can put you in the best mood and truly make your day wonderful. On the other hand, if they are upset, negligent, down, or even if they don't consciously do anything, maybe things just didn't go quite as you planned... you can wind up hurt, mad or offended and that wonderful day? Not so wonderful anymore. We are greatly affected by our friends, but how affected should we be? How do we know when to just let down our sail and let things blow by? It seems to be a delicate balance. On one hand, you don't want to let people walk all over you, but on the other, you don't want to be over dramatic or hypersensitive. I for one tend to have my sails down most of the time. I seem to lean towards the laid back and easy going approach... consequently my toes get stepped on here and there, but I usually don't mind. However, sometimes I am truly bothered or hurt, whether it is for a good reason or not, but I often don't know if I should say anything or if it just isn't worth it. I know I will get over it, so why bring it up? Some look at my behavior and think me a fool. They say I am too soft and I put up with too much. Now, I'm not a push over... I do stand up for myself, but if I see a good, logical way to avoid conflict or tension, I'll usually take it... Even if I am offended or mad. So why is it that we allow ourselves to be so affected by those close to us? Shouldn't we be more forgiving of the ones we care about most? Yes. We should. But then, if you distance yourself and don't allow them to shape your mood, it won't feel nearly as great when they make you happy. If we don't know pain, we can't know joy... right? Right. So the moral of this much too long story is... Those who are closest to you will affect you for better or worse. Get used to it. The end.
P.S. I love all of my friends. They are wonderful. This is not directed at any one person or group of people at all... just something I've thought about a lot over the years.
1 comment:
Katasha, I don't know why I never read this before, but I appreciate you taking the time to put your thoughts out on the page. I find that writing out my thoughts gives me a better understanding of my feelings, which can sometimes be a bit overwhelming, or even seem controlling.
I agree with what you said. There is a balance with how affected we are by those we love. Sometimes I find myself asking "Why do I keep thinking about what so and so did or did not do? Why can't I just set it aside and move on?" Well, I find that there is always a valuable lesson to learn - usually something about myself, but sometimes just about the way things are.
Another point I would add is that we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves. Isn't there a song about that? Anyway, here is a quote by Elder Maxwell that sums up what I'm trying to say:
"We can make quiet but more honest inventories of our strengths, since, in this connection, most of us are dishonest bookkeepers and need confirming 'outside authors.' He who was thrust down in the first estate delights to have us put ourselves down. Self-contempt is of Satan; there is none of it in heaven. We should, of course, learn from our mistakes, but without forever studying the instant replays as if these were the game of life itself."
Okay, if you understood that the first time you read it, you are brilliant. I am still reading it and saying "huh?" Even so, I know it is good and true. :)
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